JOY

The third week of advent is focused on JOY. I ask three questions:

     1.  Is Joy different from happiness?

     2.  What brings you joy?

     3.  What are the obstacles to joy for you?

In a discussion group this week the consensus was that joy is different from happiness, and happiness is different from joy. Happiness is a general satisfaction with life, a sense of well-being.  On the other hand, joy is a more intense emotion, an unexpected or sudden event that takes our breath away with awe and wonder. One example is coming over a mountain top when hiking and seeing an expansive, beautiful view. It’s an aha

moment. Another example that was given was the miracle and wonderment of the birth of a child.

Children spontaneously demonstrate joy when finding their favorite toy, or anticipating a visit from Santa Claus. It has been suggested that adults may tend to feel vulnerable to feeling joy and may build a wall of resistance. The resistance comes from fear that the

joy may not last, that there is a disaster just around the corner, and that we have to brace

ourselves for that disaster. We miss out on the beauty of joy if we are always trying to

clamp down on that emotion.

The Book of Joy by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama is a comprehensive discussion of joy. They both suggest that one of the fundamental secrets of cultivating joy and happiness is to get outside of our own self-centeredness. When we focus on our own problems, we develop frustration, stress, anger, fear and other obstacles to joy. By looking at the other and having compassion for others, it automatically leads us to joy. In Buddhist teachings there are eight pillars of joy:

•   Perspective (looking at all angles of a problem; looking at a glass half full, rather   

             than half empty)

•   Humility (maintaining an even plane with the other and remaining on the same

             level)

•   Humor (ability to laugh at ourselves)
•   Acceptance (accepting the reality of the world rather than wishing it were another

              way)

•   Forgiveness (letting go of past hurts and taking control of our own fate and feelings)
•   Gratitude (Deep appreciation and acceptance of the life that we have been given)
•   Compassion (recognize our shared humanity and care for others)
•   Generosity (an outgrowth of compassion; when we care about others, we want to

                to give to them to make their life easier)

By practicing these pillars, we can build spiritual capacity and move beyond our own

pain and suffering.

Philippians 4: 4-7

      “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to

        all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and

        petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which

        transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Mary Anne totten

CPE Intern

Reflection from Sarah McEvoy, CPE Intern

Bird Feeder Meditation

During the pandemic I’ve found renewed joy in taking walks.   The slower pace of life has given me the opportunity to discover how spiritually nourishing nature can be.  Over the years our residents, especially those who can’t get outside easily, have used bird feeders as a way to bring nature a little bit closer.  We can borrow their passion for nature to find calm and comfort on a hectic, busy day.   Find a bird feeder that’s in your assigned care area and draw your attention to it throughout the day.  Once you find a feeder, it won’t take more than a minute or two to look for one of these tiny but tough songbirds. 

The chickadee overwinters in fields and suburban areas in the northeast.  This tiny creature, weighing less than a handful of paperclips, stays warm by fluffing up its soft, thick feathers to trap warm air close to its body.  Chickadees need twenty times more food in the winter so they frequently visit bird feeders, taking one seed at a time, and quickly whisking it away to a safe hiding spot.  When the temperature falls below 10 degrees, research shows that the survival rate of Chickadees almost doubles when they have access to feeders.  They should be easy to spot once you draw your attention and intention to this calming exercise. 

As you notice what’s happening at your feeder, try this two minute meditation.

1. Stand comfortably with your feet grounded and your shoulders relaxed. 
2. Set an intention to stay present to the feeder, letting go of thoughts or stories in your mind as they arise, instead focusing on whatever is fascinating at the feeder.
3. Breathe in slowly, out slowly, for four breaths.
4. Return to work nourished by the calming presence of nature.
5. Repeat as needed throughout your day.

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

Emily Dickinson 

Daily Meditation for Tuesday, Dec. 15

Isn’t it amazing how much time and energy we spend on figuring out what the future holds? We try to predict the weather, economic trends, stock market prices, when our glaciers will melt… You name it, we try to guess it. Some people even go to mediums and readers of Tarot cards and palms to see what direction their lives will take.

We don’t have to go far beyond weather forecasts to know how futile guessing the future is. It’s not real until it becomes our present, and that present is often very different than we anticipated.

Think of how different your work and your life at HHH would be if you were only focused on an unknowable future instead of what surrounds you right now.

Think of how much easier it is to deal with what’s calling for your attention at this very moment.

It’s in this very moment that we can take action, that we can solve a problem, that we can help someone else.

It’s in this very moment that God continues to work at opening our hearts to the work of the Spirit.

As we continue to be surrounded by a pandemic. As we continue to anticipate a vaccine. As we worry about what our Christmas may be like, let’s seize the tangible moments of life in this heartbeat, instead of an intangible future.

We are alive in this moment. Our breath is in this moment. And God’s Spirit waits in each breath. Right now.

John Terauds, CPE Intern.

I’ve decided to celebrate Christmas this year.  That might not sound particularly exciting, but in this pandemic time that has brought so many losses, big and small, it is exciting.  This year I haven’t celebrated anything — my seminary graduation, 20th college reunion, 20th wedding anniversary, my birthday, Thanksgiving.  I know others have found new ways to celebrate this year, but for me these days simply came and went.  Thinking ahead to Christmas, I was beginning to get overwhelmed with the feeling of having to do Christmas at home myself this year, as we won’t be with extended family.  My mother usually takes care of filling all the stockings, my dad and I work together in the kitchen, my sister’s five year-old and her two dogs add a great amount of entertainment.   

I took some time to sit with this feeling of impending overwhelm and think about what I really want Christmas to feel like.  I want joy!  I want to celebrate Christmas!  I started thinking of ways that I could see this year as an opportunity to create new traditions, to make Christmas what I really want it to be, without pressure or expectations.  So I talked to my husband and 17 year-old son about this idea.  We decided to have fewer presents but more decorations this year.  And my son would like pizza on Christmas Eve and a stocking filled with ping pong balls!

As we approach the holidays, I encourage you to celebrate.  Celebrate anything in any way you’d like.  But please be sure to make it special for you and those you love.  Make it what you want it to be.  Make it joyful.  Make it something to remember; after all, 2020 will most definitely be a year to remember.  

Wishing you much joy this holiday season,

Jennifer, CPE Intern

Stillness

When my insides and my outsides don’t recognize one another anymore, I know it’s time for something to shift. Usually this happens when I give off a calm presence, but my insides are jumping around like hyped up monkeys who just devoured a chocolate bar. But sometimes I give off a hurried energy and inside I feel numb, like my body has hijacked my mind and I am on autopilot. Either way, I am out of sync and something needs to happen to bring me back to alignment or balance or calm or whatever word means that I am no longer a walking Godzilla movie were the sound doesn’t match the action.

This shift usually involves stillness so that whatever part of me has rushed ahead slows down and the part that is lagging behind has time to catch up. This is not easy to do somedays when the world is spinning fast and at the same time it also feels everything is happening in slow motion. Like I know Christmas is next week, but somehow a part of me is still in March when everything changed.

So, how do I get to stillness? It will only come with intention and a bit of grit. I need to find places and spaces, people and rituals, rhythms and reflections that speak to my soul. Somedays stillness may be found in a cup of hot chocolate or a bubble bath. It may come in child’s pose on a yoga mat or by taking a few deep breaths. A good laugh with a special friend or tears shed while reading a beautiful poem can bring us to that sacred space our soul desires, stillness.

Right now, this line from Psalm 23 speaks to my deepest need, maybe it will speak to yours too, “He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul.” Maybe that restoring looks like calm and balance and alignment. Maybe you have something that speaks to your own soul.  And maybe if we become intentional and exercise a bit of grit our insides will say hello to our outsides and we will have shifted into a place that offers us rest.

– Cherie Shaw, CPE Intern

I’ve been thinking recently about doors, opened and closed and the thresholds that I pass through so many times without any thought or intention. Thresholds are important signs of passage. I could do well to practice a bit more reverence for these passages in each one of my day.
Will you join me?

Here are three steps to bring more attention to our passing over thresholds:

• Count the physical thresholds you cross during the day. Notice how many times you have to move from one type of place to another.
• Consciously step over a threshold. Start with the same foot each time. This simple practice will bring your attention to where and who you are in the present. It can also help bring you into the Presence.
• Pause at the threshold. You may want to bow or say a short prayer. Use the pause to focus on your intention for the next moments. This is an especially valuable practice when you are entering a place of prayer.

Blessing the Threshold by Jan Richardson

This blessing has been waiting for you for a long time.
While you have been making your way here
this blessing has been gathering itself
making ready biding its time praying.
This blessing has been polishing the door oiling the hinges
sweeping the steps lighting candles in the windows.
This blessing has been setting the table
as it hums a tune from an old song it knows,
something about a spiraling road and bread and grace.
All this time it has kept an eye on the horizon,
watching, keeping vigil, hardly aware of how
it was leaning itself in your direction.
And now that you are here this blessing
can hardly believe its good fortune
that you have finally arrived,
that it can drop everything
at last to fling its arms wide to you,
crying welcome welcome welcome.

May your crossings of all kinds be filled with good intention, love and the Holy all around.

Michelle

Psalm 46:10
“Be still and know that I am God.”

Patience is one of those virtues that many of us are not good at. Yet this time of year calls
upon us to muster up patience. We wait for Christmas, we tolerate winter and hope for
spring to come, we wait for COVID to turn the corner, we wait for the COVID vaccine.
Time is a peculiar entity. When I was a child, waiting for Christmas was so difficult. I
counted off the days. I was anxious for my grandparents to come for the holiday, and I
wondered when Santa Claus would come. Now the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas
seems to move so much faster. Looking at time as a sacrament has helped me to see it a
little differently. Time is a gift to us so that God is revealed to us. Time is given for discovery.
Although I try to speed up time, it moves at its own pace. This is a time to slow down, to
hibernate, and to contemplate.

Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know that I am,
Be still and know,
Be still,
Be.

– Mary Anne Totten, CPE Intern

Good morning everyone,

December 11 is a personal Holy Day for me. It is the 19th anniversary of the death of my beloved father, Maurice J. DiBlasi. I remember my father as a man who loved celebrations of all kinds. Any excuse to have a party with family and friends, laughter, festive music, balloons, delicious food, and of course, cake, and my father was all in. He loved a good party! During the last days of his life, my father often told us he was going to “the big party in the sky!” This image of what my Catholic father believed Heaven would be like, gives me comfort and makes me smile. I love picturing my father partying with all his departed loved ones, Jesus, Mary, and all the saints and angels. Now, each time someone dies, I take a moment to hold them in my heart and say out loud, “Well Dad, someone else is coming to the big party. Take good care of them.”

This week, I attended the HHH Community Memorial service where the lives of residents who died in November were remembered: Rodney Huntoon, Jean Sweatt, Joyce Lovejoy, Warren Geissinger. Sadly, during the first week of December we have had more losses: Roberta Matthews. Doris Phippen. Ginny Knause, Fran Andersen and Ellie Wells.
Whether I knew the resident or not, I took a moment to hold each of them in my heart and picture them hanging out with their loved ones and my Dad at a “big party in the sky.” I invite you to join me in remembering these beloved residents and the loved ones in your personal life who have died, by picturing them in whatever way brings you comfort and, maybe, even makes you smile.

With blessings of comfort and joy,
Marianne
CPE Intern

The Jewish festival of Hanukkah begins this evening and will be celebrated for eight nights, through December 18th. Hanukkah means “to dedicate” in Hewbrew, as the festival celebrates the rededication of the Second Temple of Jerusalem in the second century B.C. The new temple required pure, holy olive oil to light its menorah, and according to tradition, there was only enough oil to last for one day. However, the oil continued to burn for eight days, and so this miracle is commemorated by the eight day Festival of Lights, Hanukkah.

Of course this is a very abridged version of the story of Hanukkah, and yet even in its simplicity I think it reveals Hanukkah’s themes and symbols that can speak to many of us, across faith traditions: dedication, hope, spiritual freedom, miracles, praise, and thanksgiving.

I especially appreciate the symbolism of glowing lights. I’m reminded of the Divine Light within all of us and the importance of us sharing our unique light with others. Here’s a portion of a prayer that beautifully captures this sentiment:

“Lamps Within” by Alden Solovy

A lamp glows inside your heart,
With eight ways to light it,
Eight ways to keep it shining,
Eight ways to keep its glow.

Light it with your joy.
Light it with your tears.
Light it with this song.
Light it with the works of your hands.
Light it with hope.
Light it with service.
Light it with this prayer.
Light it with praise to God’s holy name.

Bring the lamp of your soul out into the street
So that all who have forgotten
The miracles around us
Will remember the beauty within,
So that all who have forgotten
The miracles of old
Will remember and rejoice.

May we all seek to share our light with one another this holiday season.

Blessings & peace to you,
Jennifer, CPE Intern

Today’s reflection is offered by one of our CPE Interns Cherie Shaw.

Belonging

Music spilled into the church lobby. It was an informal call to worship. I became focused on getting to my seat as I walked past a homeless gentleman who attended services on Sunday mornings.  Behind me was another man who was less preoccupied than me. I heard him say, “Nice to see you today!” to the man with no address.

The simple response sinks into my heart and serves as a reminder about the importance of belonging, “Nice to be seen.” The words are a door cracked open. One that allows me to peek in and receive a needed reminder: all of us long for connection, all of us hurt when it’s missing.

The messages that silently attach themselves to “Nice to be seen” are, “Most people don’t see me,” “I am lonely,” “I long for connection.”  Those silent words somehow humble and comfort me. I feel the sting in “Most people don’t see me” because I am one of those people who didn’t see. I feel our alikeness in “I am lonely,” and “I long for connection” which makes me grateful that someone walking behind me knows how important belonging is and takes the time to see others.

This encounter sends an invitation. I’m invited to reflect on my need for belonging and ask myself what is working and what is not in this area of my life. I’m also invited to slow down and see those I am apt to hurry past and offer a smile or kind word that says, “I see you and you belong.” May we all receive the invitation and respond compassionately to others and to ourselves.

In the words of John O’Donohue, “May you find harmony between your soul and your life, may there be kindness in your gaze when you look within, and may you allow the wild beauty of the invisible world to gather you, mind you, and embrace you in belonging.”