CLEARING

Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.

                                                —Martha Postlewaite

As with any good poem, the poet makes use of every word, and choses each word carefully. In Clearing, Martha Postlewaite has chosen her words with great care. Sometimes those of us in health care want to do everything, save everyone, and make sure everything is done perfectly. Of course we want to do our best and give the best possible care. We wander in a dense forest trying to find the best we can be. But if we wait patiently, we will find the song of our life and know how to give our best possible selves to the world which needs us so badly.

Mary Anne Totten, CPE Intern

Find Happiness

A group of 100 people were attending a seminar when the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity.  He gave each attendee a balloon and asked them to write their name on it using a marker.  Then the balloons were collected and put in another room.  Each attendee was asked to go into the room and find the balloon with their name on it in under 5 minutes.  Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, moving others out of the way.  There was utter chaos.  At the end of the 5 minutes only a handful of people had found their balloons.  Now each attendee was asked to randomly collect a balloon, say the name written on it, and give it to that person.  Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.  The speaker shared, “This is happening in our lives.  Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.  Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people.  Give them their happiness and you will get your own.”

To receive the blessing of happiness, give yourself away.

A couple of years ago, Science News reported that the middle-class children of 2018 were willing to wait longer to get their sweet gratification in the famous “marshmallow test” invented by a Stanford University psychologist in the early 1970s.

In the test, the child can choose between having a small treat immediately (a marshmallow), or waiting and getting a better treat. The longer a child can wait, the better their chances for educational and personal success as they mature.

Earlier in the Covid pandemic, a news item reported that stress was making people more impulsive. Our need for reward was growing more immediate.

Maybe even the 4-year-olds of 2020-21 are less willing to wait for a treat.

So, what made the children of 2018 so good at holding their impulses at bay?

Maybe their teachers and caregivers were nurturing their sense of being accepted and valued.

What do you need to feel affirmed and valued – and rewarded – nearly a year into the pandemic?

Take three deep breaths and imagine the ways you might get fulfilled in the long-term, not just right now.

John Terauds, CPE Intern

The Gift of What If

A question crossed my mind yesterday while I was listening to church on Zoom, “What if I knew then what I know now?” I suppose I’m approaching a slippery slope anytime I ask myself a question that starts with a “what if.” But there it was like a big blinking sign on the side of a highway begging for my attention.

Two things happened when I paused for a moment to consider my answer. One was the arrival of a big “wow!” Every single thing would be different. Not necessarily better, but absolutely different. Even one altered decision would have had a domino effect on all the others and it would have altered so many things.

The second was followed by an even bigger “wow!” I suddenly saw myself unable to go backward in time, but definitely moving forward in time. So instead of asking, “What if I knew then what I know now?” I asked myself, “What if I use what I know now to intentionally guide, shape and inform where I will be?” The things I know now may not be able to reshape my past, but they hold the potential to shape my future in amazing ways.

Maybe I am at a fork in life’s road, maybe we all are. Life moves fast and knowing and deciding are things to use with respect. I hope when I live another five, ten, or twenty years I’ll look back and say, “I’m so glad I knew what I did then and used it to better my life and those around me in beautifully intentional ways.”

Maya Angelou wisely shared, “When we know better, we do better.” May those words serve as both our lighthouse and our benediction today.

Cherie Shaw, CPE Intern