Letting Go
Today I say good-bye. This unit of Clinical Pastoral Education is ending and so is my time HHH. I have enjoyed my time here and the connections I have made with so many of you are special and meaningful to me. Thank you for your kindness, your welcome, and your generous hearts. You have been an important part of my learning and my time with you will in inform my care of others as I move into my next chapter.
I will complete my 3rd unit of CPE this summer. Instead of visiting with the residents of Havenwood Heritage Heights, I will walk the halls of the hospital and spend time with the patients, families and staff in various departments. I am both excited for this opportunity and somewhat nervous. After two units at HHH, feeling the support and care of so many amazing people, it is hard to picture myself in another setting. If I were talking to myself as if I were talking to my kids I would tell myself that I’ll be fine and that I’ll settle in and feel comfortable again. I’d probably also roll my eyes at myself (if that were even possible) and continue on swimming is a bit of apprehension.
So then, what do I do with that? What do any of us do with those times of letting go of what we know and stepping into what we don’t? I suppose we have to know what feeds our soul, what centers us, what helps us to make meaning. I often walk through the woods, play music, share my heart with a friend, journal all my feelings, pray, and sometimes say Psalm 23 out loud.
But today, today I am reciting a short little prayer I found that comes from the 12-step tradition. Because letting go is hard and stepping into new spaces is hard too, these words calm my soul:
I can’t.
God can.
I think I’ll let Him.
With that, I say good-bye and thank-you and pray that you too can lean into the practices that enrich and comfort your soul when letting go is hard and the new feels scary.
Cherie Shaw, CPE Intern