I remember as this was beginning when I would see residents who were out without their masks on and they’d see me with my mask on and would apologize: “oh, I am sorry I forgot to bring my mask.” I remember thinking and sometimes saying, “it’s ok, you were just going about as usual in very unusual times.” We’ve had to make a huge adjustment to a very strange new kind of living. And no matter how many times I pray, “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” I go back and forth between accepting and raging against this “new normal.”

I found it helpful and I know others did as well – when I read trauma specialist, Jennifer Yaeger, name that what we are collectively going through is indeed trauma. And since it is a kind of trauma we are in the middle of, even though we find ourselves doing many of the things we might do on an ordinary summer – and perhaps we find stretches of time, maybe days, when we forget or at least seldom think about being in the middle of a global pandemic – for many of us it is difficult to not be reminded constantly that we are here, under pressure and a threat the like of which we had not ever had to live with before. And that is stressful, that is anxiety-inducing, that is indeed an ongoing experience of trauma.

So, though we may have to accept many of these things under the heading of “that which we cannot change,” we can also move to “courage to change the things we can.” And one of the closest and perhaps most important things we can change – is the responses we have to our reactions to the pain and stress this all causes. We can choose to have compassion on ourselves as we name the weight that this is and what this unusual strain can do to us. We can choose to have compassion on our families, coworkers, residents we care for, even the strangers on the street or in the grocery store.

We can choose to have compassion on ourselves for the burden that this is, and be understanding when we don’t feel the way we think we should, or can’t do the things we think we ought to, and when we need to we can muster courage to reach out for support – maybe by contacting EAP, or reaching out to someone we trust and can simply confide in. (And we here at Spiritual Care are always available to listen and support you – never hesitate to reach out).

I found this graphic put out by Trauma & Co. to be a helpful reminder that it’s ok to feel and experience the extraordinary feelings and experiences this time brings. Naming these reactions as ok goes a long way in lessening the unnecessary burden we can find ourselves carrying.

And so I offer this little grounding exercise by Marchaé Grair from the collection Michelle and I have been sharing this past week or so. I invite you take a few moments sometime today to read through and follow the instructions of this small ritual (you’ll find it helpful even if you aren’t in the middle of an anxiety attack).

Ritual During My Anxiety Attack

When my skin keeps crawling,
Wrap me in your loving embrace.
When my breath keeps quickening,
Give me sweet release.

Pause to bless something you hear, smell, see, touch, or taste.

When my weeping consumes my being,
Lead me toward self-compassion.
When the “what-ifs” feel too scary,
Help me stay present in your presence.

Pause to bless something you hear, smell, see, touch, or taste.

Tend to the undercurrents of emotions
That burst forward in ways beyond my control,
And release me from any grief and shame
I carry just for feeling my feelings.

Pause to bless something you hear, smell, see, touch, or taste.

Ground me in my divine resilience:
I am still here, I am still worthy.
Ground me in your divine companionship:
You are still here, I am never alone.

Repeat the final stanze as many times as needed.

Writer’s note: Engaging the five senses during an anxiety attack can lessen the symptoms and length of the attack.

I hope this week you can stay hydrated, and take good care of your emotions as well as the body that houses them as we continue to navigate this uncertain time together. The good news, is that we are more resilient and stronger than we ever can imagine, and especially when we open ourselves up to the connections outside of us that sustain us and always have.

May you be well and supported today and may the blessing of God or all that sustains you, Keep you safe, grant you peace and fill you with all that you need, just for today. Amen.

Joel