You may have heard the saying, “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb.”  According to this weather folklore, early March is a time when we often experience a Lion’s fierce roar of frigid cold, the long white teeth of biting winds that can cut through flesh. 

March certainly came in like a lion this month.  No sooner did we turn the calendar from February to March, than bitter cold and blustery winds from the Artic polar vortex descended into New England.  In its wake, power lines and trees toppled causing power outages at Havenwood Heritage Heights and throughout the area.

As I looked out my window, I saw how the trees around me were responding to the wind.  I can’t help feeling that every life encounters windstorms and, like the trees, we must respond.  The question is, how?  What can we learn from the trees?

Many sacred writings from different spiritual traditions provide teachings that rigid trees break in gale winds, but flexible trees survive.

Chapter 76 of The Tao cautions:

“…. the stiff and hard are attendants of death, the supple and soft are attendants of life.”

An old Shaker hymn puts it plainly:

“Yielding and simple may I be, like a pliant willow.”

In unsettling times, may we look to the trees as reminders of how to be supple and flexible in the midst of the storm. 

Marianne DiBlasi, CPE Intern

CLEARING

Do not try to save
the whole world
or do anything grandiose.
Instead, create
a clearing
in the dense forest
of your life
and wait there
patiently,
until the song
that is your life
falls into your own cupped hands
and you recognize and greet it.
Only then will you know
how to give yourself
to this world
so worthy of rescue.

                                                —Martha Postlewaite

As with any good poem, the poet makes use of every word, and choses each word carefully. In Clearing, Martha Postlewaite has chosen her words with great care. Sometimes those of us in health care want to do everything, save everyone, and make sure everything is done perfectly. Of course we want to do our best and give the best possible care. We wander in a dense forest trying to find the best we can be. But if we wait patiently, we will find the song of our life and know how to give our best possible selves to the world which needs us so badly.

Mary Anne Totten, CPE Intern

Find Happiness

A group of 100 people were attending a seminar when the speaker stopped and decided to do a group activity.  He gave each attendee a balloon and asked them to write their name on it using a marker.  Then the balloons were collected and put in another room.  Each attendee was asked to go into the room and find the balloon with their name on it in under 5 minutes.  Everyone was frantically searching for their name, colliding with each other, moving others out of the way.  There was utter chaos.  At the end of the 5 minutes only a handful of people had found their balloons.  Now each attendee was asked to randomly collect a balloon, say the name written on it, and give it to that person.  Within minutes everyone had their own balloon.  The speaker shared, “This is happening in our lives.  Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is.  Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people.  Give them their happiness and you will get your own.”

To receive the blessing of happiness, give yourself away.

A couple of years ago, Science News reported that the middle-class children of 2018 were willing to wait longer to get their sweet gratification in the famous “marshmallow test” invented by a Stanford University psychologist in the early 1970s.

In the test, the child can choose between having a small treat immediately (a marshmallow), or waiting and getting a better treat. The longer a child can wait, the better their chances for educational and personal success as they mature.

Earlier in the Covid pandemic, a news item reported that stress was making people more impulsive. Our need for reward was growing more immediate.

Maybe even the 4-year-olds of 2020-21 are less willing to wait for a treat.

So, what made the children of 2018 so good at holding their impulses at bay?

Maybe their teachers and caregivers were nurturing their sense of being accepted and valued.

What do you need to feel affirmed and valued – and rewarded – nearly a year into the pandemic?

Take three deep breaths and imagine the ways you might get fulfilled in the long-term, not just right now.

John Terauds, CPE Intern

The Gift of What If

A question crossed my mind yesterday while I was listening to church on Zoom, “What if I knew then what I know now?” I suppose I’m approaching a slippery slope anytime I ask myself a question that starts with a “what if.” But there it was like a big blinking sign on the side of a highway begging for my attention.

Two things happened when I paused for a moment to consider my answer. One was the arrival of a big “wow!” Every single thing would be different. Not necessarily better, but absolutely different. Even one altered decision would have had a domino effect on all the others and it would have altered so many things.

The second was followed by an even bigger “wow!” I suddenly saw myself unable to go backward in time, but definitely moving forward in time. So instead of asking, “What if I knew then what I know now?” I asked myself, “What if I use what I know now to intentionally guide, shape and inform where I will be?” The things I know now may not be able to reshape my past, but they hold the potential to shape my future in amazing ways.

Maybe I am at a fork in life’s road, maybe we all are. Life moves fast and knowing and deciding are things to use with respect. I hope when I live another five, ten, or twenty years I’ll look back and say, “I’m so glad I knew what I did then and used it to better my life and those around me in beautifully intentional ways.”

Maya Angelou wisely shared, “When we know better, we do better.” May those words serve as both our lighthouse and our benediction today.

Cherie Shaw, CPE Intern

One of my favorite daily reflection books is Mark Nepo’s “The Book of Awakening” and since I felt uninspired today (it happens) since my head and heart are filled with work on the home bathroom, I’m sharing February 28^th reflection from Mark Nepo.

“I’d rather learn from one bird how to sing than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.”

E.E. Cummings

The stones at Chimayo

On the way to Chimayo, a woman saw two Spanish farmers repositioning stones in the riverbed to redirect the flow: she felt compelled to help.

She had the feeling that this had been done for centuries-their mothers and fathers, their grandmothers and grandfathers, each in their own time and way, picking up the same stones pushed about by storm or drought and putting them back so the water can continue.

It seems this is the never-ending work of relationship, each of us in our own time and way moving the stones between us, repositioning the heavy things that get in the way, so that life of feeling can continue.

The weather of simply living jams things up, and we, like every generation before us, must roll up our pants and sleeves, step into the river, aaad unclog the flow. Of course, we need to ask, What are the stones pushed about between us? What are the heavy things that keep getting in the way?

No doubt, they are infinite and particular, but often, they are made of habits of not: not seeing, not hearing, not feeling, not being present, not risking the truth, not risking the heart’s need to live out in the open.

That we close off, jam up, spill over, and dry up are all part of being human in the gravity of time. That we feel compelled to stop and help even strangers move the heavy thing out of the way is an impulse known as love.

Practices:

• Identify something heavy within you that seems to be in the way
• Does it have to do with a habit of not? If so, try to name what it is you are not allowing to flow freely within you?
• If you are not seeing, breathe slowly and begin the vow to see. If you are not listening, breathe slowly and begin the vow to listen.
• If you need help in moving it, whom will you ask and when?

Some days Mark Nepo just hits the spot.

May you be the love you seek and may you be a blessing to the world or just for today for our residents.

Warmly,

Michelle

The story of the Detroit, Michigan singer/songwriter Rodriguez sounds too fantastical to be true.  Rodriguez released his debut album “Cold Fact” in 1970.  While it didn’t sell very well in the United States, the album made its way to South Africa and became a huge hit.  This was during the time of apartide, when South Africans lived under an authoritarian regime with institutionalized racial segregation and the country was largely shut off from contact with the rest of the world.  The album spoke to the political climate of that time, with its songs of sorrow and struggle and justice, with titles such as “The Establishment Blues,” “Crucify Your Mind,” and “Rich Folks Hoax.”  My favorite is “I Wonder.”  Here’s a taste of the lyrics:

I wonder about the tears in children’s eyes
And I wonder about the soldier that dies
I wonder will this hatred ever end
I wonder and worry my friend
I wonder, I wonder, wonder don’t you?

These songs served as anthems for this era in South Africa and Rodriguez became a legendary character, complete with rumors that he died while performing live on stage.  Yet Rodriguez was completely unaware of his success and went about his life in Detroit, working mostly in construction.  In 2012, the documentary Searching for Sugarman attempted to tell this story as the filmmakers set out to uncover the truth about this mysterious artist, and they ended up finding Rodriguez, very much alive.  The film won the Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature and led to the album’s re-release.  Rodriguez then toured worldwide and performed in front of crowds of adoring fans. 

This story reminds me of how we often don’t know what impact we’re having on others.  Certainly this happened on a large scale as Rodriguez was completely unaware that his music was inspiring a nation, providing hope and momentum to a movement towards justice and peace.  But I think this also happens in small and subtle ways every day.  In the Jewish tradition, when someone dies, the custom is to say, “may their memory be a blessing.”  Our whole lives are blessings.  Every day we have the opportunity to be a blessing for one another. 

When we pick up the phone to call a friend, our listening presence might be exactly what they need.  When we smile at the clerk at the grocery store or thank the person re-stocking the shelves, we might be the only smile or the only thanks they receive that day.  When we share our struggles, we might bring some comfort as others learn they are not alone.  Our words and our actions are powerful and contain the potential for transformation. 

Today I invite you to remember that in all you do, you’re making an impact.  May your life be a blessing.

Blessings & peace to you,

Jennifer, CPE Intern 

“Sometimes, we need to be reminded that we are beautiful, spirit-filled, powerful beings. Each of us has gifts and talents that we can give to the world like a peacock spreads its glorious tail.”

~ Anonymous

Thank you for sharing your glorious gifts and talents with Havenwood Heritage Heights.  May joy and peace surround you and bless you on this day and always. 

Marianne DiBlasi, CPE Intern

We haven’t had a typical severe New England winter. Yes, we have had snow, but not the back to back storms with 6 to 12 inches at a time. Other than the large storm in December, the winter storms this year have been mild. We are beginning to see longer days and more light, but knowing New England, there may still be snow in March or even April. Some people may remember the April Fool’s Day snow storm a few years ago. Regardless of the size of the storms the maintenance department at Havenwood Heritage Heights has been diligent in the work of keeping the roadways, parking lots, and sidewalks cleared. I have been fascinated by the use of the Bobcat snowplow. It looks like a little PacMan whipping around scooping up the snow. The operator of this machine seems to be having a good time—zoom, zoom, twirl, twirl, scoop, scoop, and the job is done. They are doing this at any time of day or night. Then they come back and scatter sand and salt. This is a reminder that there is a team at HHH. For all of the residents, whether in the Health Services Center, The Lodge, Assisted Living, or Independent Cottages, it takes a village to keep everything running smoothly. I offer deep appreciation and gratitude for all of the team members at HHH. I wish I could take a ride on the Bobcat. Maybe I’ll ask if I could take a whirl some time.

Through the weeks of deep snow
we walked above the ground
on fallen sky, as though we did
not come of root and leaf, as though
we had only air and weather
for our difficult home.
But now
as March warms, and the rivulets
run like birdsong on the slopes,
and the branches of light sing in the hills,
slowly we return to earth.

Wendell Berry

Mary Anne Totten, CPE Intern

Each evening I realize how happy I am when there is light in the sky just a few minute longer.

A Light exists in Spring
Not present on the Year
At any other period –
When March is scarcely here
A Color stands aboard
On Solitary Fields
That Science cannot overtake
But Human Nature feels.
It waits upon the Lawn,
It shows the furthest Tree
Upon the furthest Slope you know
It almost speaks to you.
Then as Horizons step
Or Noons report away
Without the Formula of sound
It passes and we stay –
A quality of loss
Affecting our Content
As Trade had suddenly encroached
Upon a Sacrament.

Emily Dickinson

The beauty of spring sunlight is nearly upon us. Rest easy as March approaches, the days grow longer, the temperatures warmer, and winter isolation begins to draw to a close.

Sarah McEvoy, CPE Intern