Dear Me

I wrote a thank you note to myself today. It’s addressed to the part of me that seems to find the strength to face each day even though other parts of me are so very tired. I don’t think of the strong part of me very often much less take the time to thank her so I thought it was about time. . .especially today. You’re welcomed to read it if you like.

Dear Strong and Steady Me,

I wanted to take the time to send you a note of appreciation. This morning when I got up, my stomach hurt and there was a knot in my chest. It seems the violent images on TV, the climbing death numbers, the realization that I will spend another day in this house, and the feelings of disconnection are becoming too heavy for my very tired self to manage.

But you reminded me to make a cup of tea. It helped to settle my stomach. Then, you encouraged me to show up honestly with some friends on a Zoom call and the heartfelt conversation helped the knot in my chest to loosen. At noon time, your kindness suggested I sit in a comfy spot while I ate warm soup for lunch. And then because you know me so well, you nudged me out the front door so I would go for a walk because you know that outside spaces always soothe my inside turmoil.

I just got back from that walk and my cheeks are still cold from the winter air, but I didn’t want another moment to pass before I said, “Thank you!” My very tired self often forgets that my strong and steady self has always been there for me. You need to know that I see you and I am thankful you are a part of me.

I know the days ahead may still be challenging so I will listen to you more carefully. When you say, “Rest,” I will. When you remind me to take a break, I will. When you insist that I turn off the news and watch a comedy, I will. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You’ve been so good to me and now I promise to be good to you.

With Deepest Appreciation,

Very Tired Me

Cherie Shaw, CPE intern