It's natural for people to slow down in their older years. Sometimes, the natural aging process results in a memory that isn't as sharp as it once was, a sense of balance that comes and goes, and vision that has lost its crystal-clear definition. 

These effects of aging are common. If you see one or two of them slowly developing in your parent, you shouldn't assume it's an early stage of dementia. 

What is concerning is if these symptoms develop in groupings, or if they cause noticeable changes in your parent's mood, behavior, judgment, or language skills.

Signs and Symptoms of Dementia

Dementia doesn't have one set of symptoms, which is why identifying this brain disease can be difficult. It's important to know that there are several sub-types of dementia with varying symptoms. Overall, though, dementia does share common symptoms across most types.

Your parent may be showing early signs of the disease if they have several of the following dementia symptoms: 

Alzheimer's disease is the most common form of dementia, accounting for about two-thirds of all diagnoses. Symptoms of Alzheimer's disease most closely resemble the most common signs and symptoms above. However, some types of dementia have other common symptoms. 

Lewy body dementia has early symptoms like the following:

Frontotemporal dementia, a less common type of dementia, has two sub-types: behavior-variant and primary progressive aphasia. Typically, one would affect your parent's behavior and the other would affect their speech.

Behavior-variant frontotemporal dementia, called bvFTD, has the following as common symptoms:

Primary progressive aphasia dementia, called PPA, usually shows these symptoms:

If none of these symptoms seem to match those that your parent is experiencing, the type of dementia might be vascular dementia. This type can form after a bad fall, a head injury, or a stroke. Typically, vascular dementia has the following common symptoms:

Receiving a Dementia Diagnosis

Based on what you see with common signs and symptoms, you might decide to accompany your parent to the doctor or specialist. Here, your parent undergoes a series of tests at the clinic, such as cognitive tests, a CT scan, and blood work. When the results come in, they can indicate whether Mom or Dad has progressed into early-stage dementia.

The news is likely upsetting for you, and that's completely normal and understandable. Hearing that your parent has a new dementia diagnosis is something that no child wishes to hear. 

Handling Your Thoughts and Emotions After a Dementia Diagnosis

Denial

You may go through a range of emotions after hearing that Mom or Dad has early-stage dementia. Often the first thought or emotion is one of denial. You might not want to believe that your parent has this diagnosis, or feel that the doctor and tests are wrong. You might feel that your parent needs to get a second or third opinion. 

If you feel denial, understand that it’s normal and expected. Denial is a coping mechanism. By denying the truth of a diagnosis or an upsetting situation, your mind is trying to give you time to adjust. Your mind is also helping you to sort through and process initial emotions. 

Anger or Frustration

You might also feel anger or frustration at the news that your parent has dementia. You could become angry about how your parent's diagnosis will alter their life as well as your own. You might become frustrated at how you will juggle being a caregiver as well. 

Like denial, anger is natural. Dementia is not a normal part of aging and physicians don’t fully understand what causes it to develop in some people and not others. It’s normal to be angry when confronted with something that can change your and your parent’s life. Your parent is probably feeling the same way, but remember, individuals with dementia can live strong, full and happy lives. 

Fear

Fear is another emotion you may experience. There is an inherent fear at the thought of losing your parent to an illness. You might express fear about memories that may fade or small personality quirks that may disappear. 

While these fears are normal and justified, don’t forget that early-stage dementia is typically not too disruptive to your or their life. Individuals with early-stage dementia can often still live independently with minimal disruption. As the disease progresses, you can find memory care support that helps your parent maximize their abilities and continue to live a happy life.

Working Through Your Reactions

While feeling denial, anger, or fear about Mom or Dad's diagnosis is normal, it’s important to handle your feelings constructively. Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on moving forward. An early diagnosis gives you more time to plan, to enjoy time together, and to build a strong support system that provides a high-quality life for your parent throughout the disease. 

How Your Parent May React to the Diagnosis

Like you, your parent may react with fear and denial. They may think the diagnosis is nonsense, that they feel fine and have no symptoms. 

If they only display denial, it's possible that they don't realize what's going on. They aren't fully aware of how they're forgetting memories, names, or dates, or that they're getting lost in familiar places or making unusual decisions. 

If Mom or Dad expresses or shows fear mixed with denial, they've likely caught themselves in moments of confusion or thought that something must not be right.

As you work through your own emotions, help your parent express theirs. This might include some of the following ideas:

Understanding Your Parent's Capabilities During Early-Stage Dementia

With early-stage dementia, your parent will likely be able to maintain most of their daily habits and activities. 

They might still drive, join in on bingo games, visit with friends, attend to household chores, and enjoy leisurely hobbies at home. 

It's important to remember that while they can do each of these tasks, they might need occasional assistance. There will be times in which they become lost, forget words, or become overwhelmed with making a decision.

Help your parent maintain their independence while letting them know that it's okay to ask for support when they need it. 

Understanding What Your Parent May Need Help With

Apart from being available or having someone nearby who can help your parent if a problem comes up, you should encourage Mom or Dad to streamline their daily lives to make it easier to remember little details. Here are some ideas that they can consider:

Safety Considerations: Helping Your Parent to Live Well

While early-stage dementia doesn’t usually bring significant safety concerns, there are some things that your parent may be more at risk of. For example, Mom or Dad might have mild coordination troubles that make them more likely to lose their balance or slip and fall over rugs or uneven surfaces. 

To help them stay safe, look around the house or apartment and remove excess furniture or pieces with sharp corners. You can also remove any rugs and check that smoke detectors have new batteries. 

If the bathroom and shower/tub don't have handrails, install them. If Mom or Dad lives at a independent living home in Concord, you might be able to skip this one. Typically, senior apartment suites come with support rails because the community has a built-in focus on resident safety. Staff at the community can also keep an eye on your parent, notifying you if they see signs that the dementia is progressing and recommending when your parent may want to move to an assisted living or memory care neighborhood.

Caring for Yourself After a Parent’s Dementia Diagnosis

A dementia diagnosis is stressful not just for the person with the disease, but for their friends and family as well. Your parent will need you now more than ever, and that can add pressure, stress, and worry to your life. As you find yourself moving into this new stage of your life, which will eventually include dementia care, make sure you take time to breathe and relax. 

Know that you will have stressful or upsetting days when your parent forgets an important memory or reacts with frustration at your attempts to help. This is their disease speaking, not them. As much as it may upset you, try to breathe through it and remain positive. 

Most importantly, remember that you do not need to do this alone. Other family members and friends are likely more than willing to help. During early-stage dementia, that’s typically more than enough to provide a strong, supportive environment for your parent.

If you can’t support your parent on your own, or when the time comes that your parent needs 24/7 support, there are dementia care communities that can remove the burden of care for your shoulders.

Connect with Your Parent and Enjoy Your Time Together 

Dementia may be a daily presence in your parent's life, but it doesn't mean you can't open the doors to communication wide open. You can take this diagnosis and turn it into a powerful opportunity to connect with your parent. Spend time together and get to know Mom or Dad on a deeper level, strengthening your relationship. 

Support from a senior community can make that easier by handling your parent’s care while you focus on spending quality time together. That’s part of our mission at Havenwood Heritage Heights. We help people live well, extending our support beyond our residents to their family and friends. Our continuing care retirement community has all levels of care, so your parent can enter as an independent adult and move to higher levels of support, such as assisted living and memory care, when the additional assistance will most improve their daily life. When the disease progresses, we provide specialized Alzheimer's care as well as care for other types of dementia and cognitive impairments. 

We're there alongside you and your parent as they journey through dementia, ensuring they have all the support they need. Contact us today to learn more about how we can help your parent in this new stage of their life.